One person controls where the other goes, what they do, who they can see, and even what they wear. 

How Healthy Is My Relationship?

One, or both, of you minimizes, denies, or blames their own actions on the other partner.  





Providing culturally aware outreach, education and services for victims of domestic and sexual violence through leadership, hope and respect for thriving families.


Teen Sexual Assault & Rape

Sexual activity of any kind MUST be consensual (that means BOTH people want to be doing it)!  For example, a person who is under the influence of drugs and alcohol cannot legally give consent for sexual activity.  There should never be:

- Force

- Threats

- Fear

- Manipulation

The only person responsible for a rape or sexual assault is the person committing it.  They are 100% responsible!  There is nothing you can do to make someone else hurt you in such a way.

If you have been sexually assaulted, or raped, it's important to remember there may be medical issues for you to consider like STIs, pregnancy, and the completion of a rape kit. 



  • Put-downs, name calling
  • Frequent yelling, cursing
  • Threats & intimidation
  • Guilt-trips
  • Playing mind games
  • Blames the other for own actions
  • Controlling & possesive 
  • ​Extreme jealousy, & using jealousy to justify behavior 
  • Cheating, or threats to cheat
  • Threats to committ suicide if partner leaves
  • Telling partner where they can go, who they can see, or what they can wear
  • Withholding affection as punishment
  • ​Lying 

Go to for more information


  • Hitting
  • Slapping
  • Punching
  • Strangling
  • Grabbing
  • Pushing
  • Scratching
  • Kicking
  • Pinching
  • Hair pulling
  • Biting
  • Use of weapons to hurt or threaten
  • Blocking doorways so the other cannot leave
  • Smashing, throwing, or destroying things
  • Punching walls, doors, etc. 



You or your partner gets extremely jealous, and falsley accuses the other of cheating, flirting, or lying without reason.  

One person makes all decisions pertaining to the relationship.


You are inconsiderate to one another and make excuses for treating each other poorly. 





  • Rape
  • Forcing one into any kind of sexual activity
  • Pressuring one for sexual activity
  • Lying to, or manipulating one into sexual activity
  • Threatening to break up if one refuses sex
  • Sexual activity while one is too drunk or high to give consent
  • Unwanted touching of a sexual nature
  • Threatening to spread rumors if one refuses sexual activity
  • Taking nude/sexual pictures or videos of one without consent
  • Blackmail

You and/or your partner scream, cuss, intimidate, or call each other names.



One of you tries to get things to go their way, without regard to how the other person feels.  

Each partner enjoys spending time separately.  This may be with family, your own friends, and other groups.


You are suspicious of your partner, without reason.

One of you depends completely on the other person to meet social or emotional needs.


Personal Space



You value each other's thoughts, ideas, opinions and personal boundaries.  You are proud to be with each other. 

Have you ever asked yourself any of these questions?

  • Can an abusive person really change?
  • Am I a good partner?
  • How would I help a friend who is being abused?

​If you have, consider checking out these quizzes from  


One, or both of you, demean each other and do not care for each other's feelings. 


Solve conflicts without putting each other down, yelling at each other or making threats.  Both people respect and listen to one another and are willing to compromise.


Both you and your partner trust each other.  The trust has been earned.

You do not tell each other the truth. is the National Teen Dating Violence Hotline.  You can text, chat, or call 24/7 if something in your relationship is worrying you.  This cite has tons of interactive information and resources on:

  • Ways to improve communication
  • What to look for in a partner
  • Setting boundaries
  • Power and control wheel
  • LGBTQ relationships

Abuse can take on many forms

​Abuse is the cruel or violent treatment of another person.  

This abuse can take place in several different ways including emotionally, physically, and sexually.  

Some examples of possible forms of abuse are listed below.

Problems are not talked about or resolved.  You don't want to listen when your partner talks.

Both of you are honest with one another, but still have some privacy.  




You both have equal decision-making power about what you do in the relationship. 


Many relationships have a combination of both healthy, and unhealthy characteristics.  Take a look below and figure out what things in your relationship you can appreciate, and what things you might want to change. Contact Narumi Moran our Youth Advocate  for more information and resources.